Love & Sex - Aries

Gosh, who's this bourreeing about fit to bust? (I feel exhausted just watching them!) Why, it's an Arian, of course - a lamb full of the joys of spring. And summer, and autumn. Oh, and winter too! (No wonder I feel on the verge of a complete collapse!) Just in case you didn't know, Aries is the first of the twelve signs of the zodiac, and belongs to the Fire element. And you don't have to know an Arian for long to understand why they're the sign of the Ram. They're supremely sexy (lucky old you!). And when they're not bouncing about in the boudoir like crazed Casanovas (yes, he was one of them as well!) or Casanovettes, they'll be livening up your life, as only frisky, frivolous, frolicking folk can! There are three sorts of Arians - rumbustious, racy, rampant Rams; loving, lively laughing Lambs; or slightly silly, soppy, spineless Sheep. Take your pick of the flock! Being the first sign in the celestial sky goes to their heads, poor dears, and they all think that they're at the head of the queue in everything they do. Their motto is 'Me first,' but that's not in a Leonine 'Me first 'cos I'm the best' way. Instead, they're like little children who don't even stop to think what they're saying. Well, they are the babies of the heavens! There's an endearing ingenuity to these arabesquing Arians, but it does mean they can have the wool pulled over their eyes and only realise that they've been betrayed when it's too late. They can come up with all sorts of delightful dreams, stunning schemes and perfect plans, which will either be brilliant brainwaves or too worthless for words. Because they're ruled by mighty, macho Mars, Arians can get horrendously hot under the collar over all sorts of things, but it rarely lasts long. Instead, they'll flare up like a million matches all lit at once, rage and rampage (and scare you silly), then forget all about it the moment their wrath has waned. But they must make sure they're active - swimming the Channel, running a marathon before breakfast or even just taking the Spitfire for a spin on Sundays. (With the Arian's amour clinging on to the dashboard for dear life!) Otherwise they become irate and irascible at the motionless malaise infecting their life. These folk are so physical it's (usually) fantastic! ('Let's get physical' is definitely their theme tune!) What really speeds an Arian man on his way is his competitive Cardinal character. He's got to come first (it's numero uno every time), whether it's in the boardroom or the boudoir, and sometimes he can get a mite mixed-up, and see his partner in passion as a real rival. (Actually, all she'll steal is the lion's share of the duvet on cold nights! Must be a Leo!) He'll be lusciously lascivious and lusty, and will always keep you on your toes - as he chases you round the kitchen table! He'll make a devoted dad, and will play with his kids until it's long past their bedtime. They'll be worn out but he'll still be going strong! Ramettes are ravishing! They're beautiful bundles of endless energy, bright and breezy on the surface, but underneath they're soft and sentimental. These fleecy females are forceful feminists, and they must have had time to live their own lives before they get tied down by the apron strings to look after a family. Otherwise one day they might throw down the gauntlet (well, a red rubber glove, anyway!) and disappear to discover themselves. Anyone fancy pistols at dawn?

When it comes to sex (and it will, don't you worry!), forget all about mint sauce with these loving Lambs, and think about Tabasco instead. These champ chops (both the chaps and chapesses) are sensationally sexy and saucy, and so hot and spicy that they'll make you gasp. (Just like Oliver Twist, you'll be coming back for more.) These folk are one of the two signs of sex (Scorpio's the other one -what a surprise!), and it's never far from their minds, making them lewd, lusty and lecherous. (Lumme!) Even if a woolly jumper's quiet on the outside, there'll be furiously fervent feelings undulating underneath that fluffy exterior, waiting to pop out and grab you at the first opportunity! Before you slump on the sofa, thunderstruck at the thought and plotting how to find a ravishing (literally!) Ram as soon as possible (can you get them in Sainsbury's?) don't forget that these Fiery folk are ruled by Mars, which is a captivating (and colossal) combination. For Librans, the polar sign of Aries, their hearts rule their heads, but guess what area of their anatomy makes Aries tick! (And it's not their Dan Dare watches, either!) Arian men, especially, have one-track minds that run constantly on the rails of sex and salaciousness. They're very voracious indeed, but if they can't have an amorous outlet for all that emotional energy, it can backfire in some very worrying ways. These folk have to be physical in some way or other, so if they aren't getting enough exercise in the boudoir (or on the beach, the back garden or the back of the bike sheds - it's all the same to them!), they must make sure that they expend that energy in some sporty way. It won't matter what it is, whether it's wrestling at Wembley (great for getting rid of any rage they're feeling), or watching their favourite football team on the terraces. But if that boundless bounce is blocked, they'll become boisterous and could find a few fisticuffs seem to be the only answer. Even Ramettes have their priorities right where sex is concerned, and are sensationally sexy and amorously attractive. They have little antennae on top of their headstrong heads, which constantly emit sexy signals saying 'Come and get me, or I'll come and get you.' Gosh! Don't fall into the trap of thinking that Rams, Sheep and Lambs aren't loving. What else could they be, being such Fiery folk? They're also very vulnerable, and can get hurt much more easily than you'd expect. When they fall in love they'll pop their paramour on top of a pedestal so high their heads will be way up in the clouds! (And covered with a sprinkling of snow!) But when they topple off their perches, the Arian will be absolutely astonished, and desperately devastated. What a sorry sight! You see, they can't bear to think they were wrong.

Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo
Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces

Calls to Live Lines cost £1.50 per minute from a BT Landline, other networks and mobiles may be higher (UK), or €2.40 in Ireland to 1580 numbers. All calls recorded for protection and safety, this service is regulated by PhonePayPlus/Regtel, 18+ Only. Recorded Astrology Lines cost 75p per minute. RGA PO Box 322, WA15 8YL. Helpline: 0845 225 2113.